Couples and Family Therapy
Because our most important relationships are often the hardest.
I can help.
Attachment-Based Therapy in Grand Rapids and beyond…
Attachment theory is the idea that all humans are wired to have safe, connected relationships and when we don’t we feel pain and we protest. That’s where I come in. I help reconnect, repair, and rekindle broken relationships by working with individuals, couples, and families.
You look at your partner and feel nothing. Nothing but hurt, frustration, and exhaustion. You are having the same damn argument over and over again but nothing changes. You have tried everything you can think of to be understood. It seems like nothing you do ever makes your partner happy.
You never thought you would be the kind of person who got divorced but you also can’t imagine spending the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t seem to care about you.
When you don’t want to blow up your family but you can’t stand one more day of trying to make your marriage work, it’s time for couples therapy.
Ugh. No one wants to need couples therapy.
What’s the point? If your marriage is this bad is there even any hope of fixing it?
Yes. I help couples see that the ways they are trying to fix their problems are probably making things worse. I help partners truly communicate with one another, understand each other’s needs, and heal what hurts.
How? First of all, by my absolute belief in my three rules of relationships:
- There are no bad guys.
- All behavior makes sense when we understand feelings.
- Even good people hurt their partners.
I’m not going to tell you to go on a date night or to schedule sex. I’m not going to remind you that gardens grow where they are watered. I’m not even going to help you speak each other’s love languages. Chances are if you’re here you’ve tried all that and much, much more.
Instead, I am going to compassionately guide you into understanding what gets in the way of being able to hear one another and respond in ways that show your love for your partner. I’m going to explain how you got here, through no fault of your own, and teach you ways to show up for each other that really matter.
At the end of this process you won’t need to protect yourself from your partner. Your partner will be your greatest support and soft place to land. We will create enough safety for the intimacy and connection you are longing for. You won’t just stay together, you’ll be thrilled that you did.
Reach out today for a free, 20 minute, online consultation to learn how I can help you move from stuck, isolated and uncertain to clear, confident, and connected.
Schedule Today
I offer free, 20-minute online consultations.
The first rule of therapy is: You have to trust your therapist.
Let’s test the waters and see if we are a good fit. Consultations also give me a chance to hear about what you’re looking for, explain the process, and answer any questions you have.
Who I Am
Andi Grandy LMFT, LPC (she/her)
Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor
I specialize in relationships and yearn for each of my clients to have safe, secure connections with the people they love. I am an unwavering believer in love and its ability to empower everyone to be their full selves.
I am the founder of GR Family Therapy and have over 11 years of practice in the therapy field. I am a progressive, secular, feminist, humanist. I’m a wife, mom, and daughter. I am a lifelong learner and passionate reader. I’m a therapist and a therapy client. Some of my superpowers / therapeutic skills are authentic empathy, well-placed sarcasm, genuine hope, and, of course, evidenced-based practices.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why should we work with you? How do we know you're the right fit?
The short answer is that after 11 years of experience I’m really, really good at my job. Seriously.
I might not be the right fit for you. But if you are looking for a therapist committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research, who truly cares for each of her clients, and believes the occasional well-placed swear word or joke can sometimes be therapeutic, I’m your person.
Being able to trust your therapist and believing that they can help you is the number one factor towards success for all therapy. I consider this an on-going process. First, we’ll have a free online consultation where you learn my approach and get a sense of my personality. I’m also making sure your concerns are in my lane – do I think I can be helpful to you? Then, in the first few sessions you are continuing to get to know me, how it feels to be in the room with me, and the science behind Emotionally Focused Therapy. Eventually we will have a ‘define the relationship’ conversation. I will check in with you- do you think this match will work? If the answer is yes, we will continue, If the answer is no, that’s OK too. I will not be offended! I can even try to help you find a better fit.
What is couples therapy like?
A friend of mine described it as spending a lot of money to feel bad about yourself. For the record, she is talking about the process, not the results.
Yes, and… what would you pay to stay with and stay happy your partner? How much does divorce cost? Financially? Emotionally?
Yes, and…what would it cost to stay in a relationship where you feel unseen, hurt, angry, and alone?
Yes, and… therapy is hard. You will have to feel and share emotions most of us would rather avoid, numb, or distract from. You will have to be vulnerable. You will not have to do this alone. And on the other side is joy, peace, and connectedness you may never have experienced before.
For more information, click here.
How long does couples therapy take?
The answer to this varies greatly. Consider this:
- How long have you been unhappy and disconnected from one another?
- Are there still glimmers of love between you?
- Do you want your relationship to improve?
- Are you willing to commit to regularly attending therapy?
- Is your couples therapist an expert with a clear, evidence based approach?
If the hurt between you has been growing for a few years rather than a decade, the course of therapy will be shorter. I have worked with couples who have made great changes and ‘graduated’ from couples therapy in six months. Some couples take much longer. The average for my couples is about one year of consistent, weekly sessions.
Does couples therapy really work?
I can’t speak for all couples therapy but in my office -yes, couples therapy works. Not always. And sometimes, in working a couple decides to end the relationship. But I do believe that if both members of a couple really want to save their relationship and enjoy it, I can help them do this. The research on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy shows that not only do couples report significant improvement after a course of treatment, but in follow-ups ten and fifteen years later these couples are still reporting relationship satisfaction.
Schedule Today
I offer free, 20-minute online consultations.
The first rule of therapy is: You have to trust your therapist.
Let’s test the waters and see if we are a good fit. Consultations also give me a chance to hear about what you’re looking for, explain the process, and answer any questions you have.
GR Family Therapy Blog
A Discouraging Statistic
Most couples wait on average seven years before reaching out for therapy. This is one* of the reasons why couples therapy has lower success rates that other forms of therapy. By the time couples reach out, the hurt and anger are big. Sometimes people have lost hope. Some couples only decide to go to therapy when they feel the relationship is already over and they want to be able to say they’ve. Tried. Every. Thing. Sometimes one partner is willing to try therapy and the other one is not.
Emotionally Focused Therapy as explained by the founder, Dr. Sue Johnson
HOLD ME TIGHT Article by Dr. Sue Johnson originally published in Psychology Today I grew up in my parents' pub in England, where there was always a lot of drama. And all the drama—fights, flirting, tears, tantrums—revolved around love. I also watched...
“There’s Going To Be Some Changes Around Here!”
Have you ever said this about your home? My clients tend to say this about expectations and routines for their kids around any change of season: at the beginning of summer vacation, the start of a new school year, or even heading into spring break. At these times...